Birth Story | Lucas Wayne

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

It’s been 6 months since Lucas joined our team.
I hate to wait so long to write our birth story because everything is not fresh in my mind,
but all things considered, here we go.

I just knew it this time around that baby was going to be joining us earlier than planned. My D-Day was Aug 3rd, we were in early July and I felt as if he could come any day. Everything was different about this pregnancy than I had experienced, so it was all up in the air. No certainty and no control, both very difficult for me.

We went to our regular OB visit to find that I was 3cm dilated at 36 weeks. Doc, you said what? The excitement was building up and we couldn’t wait to meet him. And I mean seriously couldn’t wait. I wanted him in my arms, I didn’t want to wait another day. Being that with our both other kids I went from 3cm to 10cm in less than a week, we called the troops! Momma and Sarah drove down the same day and my mum was just waiting for the signal.

It seems like forever went by but the pre labor pains were real. I struggled with patience and Brandon had to reign me in a few times because it was still too early. We wanted for the baby to wait until 37 weeks to avoid the NICU but I was also ready for my body to start acting normal. (Yea right!) I was a mess and only Brandon could talk me down. My doctor, whom is just AWESOME, kept bringing up induction but you know, I’m me and, um, NO! So all that was left to do was wait.
Every day I woke up, I felt defeated because I'd slept through the night, no baby, no nothing. Saturday morning came around and the same ‘ol feeling. Something had to give right? I was 37 weeks and 3 days and it felt as if he was just going to slip right on out any second. We sat around, played with the kids and I tried to nap in the midst of it all. I was so uncomfortable and what I thought where “Braxton Hicks,” where so bad I cried silently, because again, you know me, I try to be tough.

I sprawled out on the recliner, and timed contractions as they came and Brandon catered to me hand and foot as he kept his eye on each contraction. Momma prepared lunch and I had a feeling it would be the last thing I ate before it all got real. One and then another, slow and steady. I remembered childbirth and the pain that came with it and it was not the same this time. Something was not the same. I felt like someone had put something like the size of a pipe through me. My back had never endured so much pain. EVER!
Lucky me, it was back labor.

Brandon texted our doctor and luckily he was ready for us. We’re so blessed with the relationship we have with him, he gave us his number to call or text anytime. I know they don’t do that with anybody. I mean, for goodness sakes, Brandon went golfing with him. He’s so great and I love that he delivered all 3 of my babies.
Then there was a prayer that my best girl Dani sent before it all got wack. I'm so grateful for her!

Brandon walked me to the bedroom and everyone started to move so fast. Momma was staying with the kids and Sarah was coming along for the ride. Brandon alerted my mum and she, I’m sure, drove way too fast to the hospital to meet us. I tried to fix myself up and even contemplated makeup, but as each one came and went, all I could think about was the pain, and not wanting to let my babies see me like that. I mean y’all, I was getting loud and that’s not me.

Brandon is a rock star and got the remaining things in the car after changing me and basically walking me everywhere. He didn’t forget one thing, besides his wedding band. Of all things. My daddy later brought it to the hospital. Here we go, to the other side of town while I’m basically screaming and about to break the handle on my car from the death grip I had on that thing. Brandon said later he never thought he would ever see me like that and he knew this wasn’t normal. I tolerate pain very well and I was losing it. I was acting like a complete maniac. We ran through red lights and never came to a stop. Thank God for opening the way.

My mum took a look at me and it was like her heart sink into her belly. She’s my rock. She keeps me steady. She encourages me with assurance that I have the strength and my body will do what God created it to do. No better words than hers guided by the Holy Spirit. As we went through the check in, a lady had the audacity to tell me I had to breathe and calm down. What lady? I’m not a noob and you’ve got to be kidding right now. She wasn’t a nurse or anything, just a lady sitting in the ER waiting room. My mum dealt with that real quick and down the hall we went. Brandon at my side holding my hand and my team following close behind. It was like in the movies. Pregnant women screaming rolling down the halls. I could’ve killed someone that delayed me getting into a room at this point.
No time for urine samples or gowns or nothing! As soon as I got on that bed, I could not make it to a calm state. The pain in my back felt like my body was being torn to shreds. Nurses were trying to get vitals and people all around were trying to help me breathe, but in that moment of complete disaster, I focused on Brandon’s voice. He was so calmly standing at my head praying with such love. The kind of love that makes life and is unrelenting peace. He assured me everything was going to be ok and reminded me of the promises of God that we had read in “Supernatural Childbirth.” Promises that were for me.
I asked for a birthing ball because I wanted to try to stay out of the bed as much as I could to relieve the pain. We got into our room and I immediately asked for something to take off the edge. I have always waited as long as I possibly could to get anything, but this was no joke, unreal! This was more than I could even fathom. I started to doubt that I could do this thing naturally. After only a few minutes on the ball, I had to get back in the bed so they could check my dilation. I was making big progress physically, but not mentally. I was stuck on the pain. I felt like I could pass out at any moment, and although I was a wreck, the baby was doing just fine.
Brandon was being so supportive and encouraging me every waking second but I could not get to the place I wanted to be. He held my hand and stroke my hair as he monitored my contractions and told me when each one was near over. I don’t know what made me so anxious that I told him to STOP. I have never raised my voice at him, and this was probably the meanest thing I’ve ever done to him. I was not in a good place and I was frustrated with the fact that I couldn’t have a calm, quiet birth like the ones I had experienced. I was mad at myself because I knew I held the power in my mind to get through this. But yet I couldn’t. I told Brandon “I can’t do it.” He looked me in the eye and said, “Baby your body has done this already, God created your body perfect. Yes you can. You can do this.”
I looked up at the hospital room ceiling and closed my eyes. I asked God to forgive me and give me peace. I knew I had failed Him and failed myself. I couldn’t stand the fact that I was holding on to this pain when I knew it wasn’t mine to endure. I asked that He would bring this sweet child into the world quickly and healthy. I’ve done it all twice before, so my body knew what to do and was not afraid.
Dr D came in the room and checked me again. And just like that, he said it was time to push! I was so relieved, but also not looking forward to the pain that was about to come. Going from a 10 pain level to a 100 wasn’t something to look forward to obviously, but I would have my baby boy in my arms soon. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

It all went so fast from here. I don’t even remember the setup happening or preparing to push. It was just like one second jumped right after the other. One, it was time to prepare for pushing this baby out and the next, “give me a push.” No in between for setup or instructions to go around. I started the push, Brandon at my left holding my leg and my mum at my right. As I pushed, I felt a splash of something fly throughout the room and everyone move around. I hadn’t finished that push when the contraction was getting to more than I could bare. I started to turn my body to the left to endure the pain when the Dr yelled, “No, Vanessa don’t stop. Keep pushing!” Still in the same push I felt his head pop right out and let me tell you, it was like I had gained the power of a million warriors. I finished my push with all the strength I had in me and he dove all the way out. It was the craziest sensation. His head popping and his body following rapidly. I looked at Brandon and the look of shock on his face brought me back to Earth. Lucas was here. He giggled at what had just happened. Wow. How did I even do that? One push!
Dr D laid him on my belly as he peed all over me being born maybe only 6 seconds ago. Brandon moved my bed up and I took a look at what love had created. He was so perfect! Without flaw. His eyes so small and his grip so strong. He wasn't shy and let out a high pitched cry a couple seconds after being born, a sound I will remember forever. Looking up at Brandon’s tear filled eyes, I felt so connected to him as we had just experienced a miracle. Our little baby boy, finally in our arms.

Born 07.15.2017 at 7:02pm
6lbs 10oz
20in long
It seemed to go by so quick to me. I was in labor with Noah and Sky 6 hours each time, which I know is fast, but I just couldn’t keep up with time this go. We arrived at the hospital at about 5:45 and he came at 7:02. Under 2 hours? What a record! I guess I had done most of the labor at home, but even then, I started fully contracting at about 4pm. It blew my mind. What I fear most of childbirth is “the ring of fire.” I didn’t even have time to feel it this time. It was so quick that the sensation never came. Thank goodness! At least I got to skip that part.

Per usual, I tore pretty badly. For the third time, Dr D stitched me up after delivering the placenta and all I could think about was seeing that baby boy. Although I had already delivered the baby, pain was still present, but somehow, it’s like it wasn't. I think for me, it’s the adrenaline that fades the pain of needles and all that still going on, but most of all, I’m just distracted. The pain doesn’t matter anymore. It’s the least of my concern when I have just become a momma again and another heart has joined our sweet family. I was all cleaned up and put together by about 7:30pm.
Noah and my dad had arrived right at the end of it all since Noah had a hard time with the way we left home. It really was something special to have him back with us so soon after Lucas came. He got to experience it all so fresh. He explored the baby with us and accepted him from the start. It was truly beautiful.
I remember clear as day the emotions going through me later that evening. I sat in the hospital bed with Lucas in my arms, my mom was at my side and I looked up at her and said. “I’m really happy.” I felt a peace I had never felt before. I had a certainty that God held my life in his hands. He knew my deepest desires and He had just gave them to me. The family that He promised me since I was a tiny girl had just come to pass. I felt so light and alive. It’s so hard to explain. I saw a picture in my head of the future which I’d like to keep private for myself and it was paradise. It was everything! How could something so perfect be possible? I look back and think I got a glimpse of heaven in that moment. It was so tangible and so real.
We are complete.
We believe this is us.
Unless Our Father says otherwise, we are the Spears 5.

*Thank you to my sis in law Sarah for capturing this miracle.
I can relive it forever.

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